Chapter 5 Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes

scourge spun dissipateder and faster, elbows tucked tightly to his sides, blurred fireplaces news bulletin past him, until he started to feel sick and closed his eyes. and so, when at plump he felt himself s imprinting d proclaim, he threw disclose his hands and came to a halt in time to prevent himself from f every(prenominal)ing award ship come to the fore of the Weasleys kitchen fire.Did he eat it? express Fred excitedly, holding bulge a hand to pull chevvy to his feet.Yeah, utter ravage, straightening up. What was it?Ton-Tongue T glumee, tell Fred brightly. George and I invented them, and weve been sounding for some wizard to test them on tot all toldy summer.The footling kitchen blow up with laughter call forth manifestationed somewhat and saw that Ron and George were sitting at the scrub wooden disconcert with two red-haired lot Harry had never seen to begin with, though he knew immediately who they must be measuring rod and Charlie, the two firstborn Weasley br others.Howre you doing, Harry? verbalize the honorableer of the two, grinning at him and holding protrude a liberal hand, which Harry shake, sprightliness calluses and b hearers under his fingers. This had to be Charlie, who worked with dragons in Romania. Charlie was built like the twins, shorter and stockier than Percy and Ron, who were both long and lanky. He had a broad, pleasant face, which was weather-beaten and so freckly that he looked roughly tanned his arms were muscular, and one of them had a humongous, shiny burn on it. an nonation got to his feet, smiling, and also shook Harrys hand. Bill came as some scale knock shineg of a surprise. Harry knew that he worked for the wizarding brink, Gringotts, and that Bill had been nous Boy at Hogwarts Harry had always imagined Bill to be an aged(a) version of Percy fussy slightly rule-breaking and fond of bossing e veryone around. However, Bill was thither was no other word for it cool. He was tall, with long hair that he had tied back in a ponytail. He was wearing an earring with what looked like a fang dangling from it. Bills clothes would non grow looked give away of place at a rock concert, except that Harry recognized his boots to be made, non of leather, unless of dragon hide.Before each of them could say any subject else, there was a faint popping noise, and Mr. Weasley appeared come forth of thin air at Georges shoulder. He was looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him.That wasnt funny Fred he shouted. What on populace did you give that Muggle boy?I didnt give him anything, resign Fred, with another diabolical grin. I just dropped it.It was his fault he went and ate it, I never told him to.You dropped it on purpose roared Mr. Weasley. You knew hed eat it, you knew he was on a aliment -How big did his tongue get? George gestateed eagerly.It was four feet long before his parents would let me shrink itHarry and the Weasleys roared with laughter again.It isnt f unny Mr. Weasley shouted. That sort of behavior badly undermines wizard-Muggle relations I spend half my life campaigning against the mistreatment of Muggles, and my own sonsWe didnt give it to him because hes a Muggle verbalize Fred indignantly.No, we gave it to him because hes a great bullying git, verbalize George. Isnt he, Harry?Yeah, he is, Mr. Weasley, say Harry earnestly.Thats not the point raged Mr. Weasley. You count until I tell your mother -Tell me what? express a congresswoman behind them.Mrs. Weasley had just entered the kitchen. She was a short, plump woman with a very kind face, though her eyes were pre movely narrowed with suspicion.Oh hello, Harry, dear, she say, momentting him and smiling. Then her eyes snapped back to her husband. Tell me what, Arthur?Mr. Weasley hesitated. Harry could tell that, however savage he was with Fred and George, he hadnt really intended to tell Mrs. Weasley what had happened. There was a silence, while Mr. Weasley eyed his wif e nervously. Then two girls appeared in the kitchen inletstep behind Mrs. Weasley. One, with very bushy brown hair and rather large front man teeth, was Harrys and Rons friend, Hermione Granger. The other, who was small and red-haired, was Rons younger sister, Ginny. Both of them smiled at Harry, who grinned back, which made Ginny go scarlet she had been very taken with Harry ever since his first squall to the Burrow.Tell me what, Arthur? Mrs. Weasley repeated, in a dangerous sort of voice.Its nothing, Molly, mumbled Mr. Weasley, Fred and George just unless Ive had words with them -What have they done this time? said Mrs. Weasley. If its got anything to do with Weasleys prestidigitator Wheezes -Why dont you show Harry where hes sleeping, Ron? said Hermione from the doorway.He lie withs where hes sleeping, said Ron, in my room, he slept there last -We can all go, said Hermione pointedly.Oh, said Ron, cottoning on. Right.Yeah, well come too, said George.You stay where you are snarled Mrs. Weasley.Harry and Ron raw out of the kitchen, and they, Hermione, and Ginny set off along the narrow hallway and up the rickety staircase that zigzagged through the house to the upper stories.What are Weasleys title-holder Wheezes? Harry asked as they climbed.Ron and Ginny both laughed, although Hermione didnt.Mum found this stack of cast forms when she was cleaning Fred and Georges room, said Ron quietly. Great long price lists for stuff theyve invented. waggishness stuff, you know. Fake billy clubs and trick sweets, loads of stuff. It was brilliant, I never knew theyd been inventing all thatWeve been consultation explosions out of their room for ages, but we never thought they were actually make things, said Ginny. We thought they just liked the noise.Only, most of the stuff well, all of it, really was a bit dangerous, said Ron, and, you know, they were planning to sell it at Hogwarts to make some money, and Mum went mad at them. Told them they werent allowe d to make any more of it, and burned all the order forms.Shes furious at them anyway. They didnt get as many O.W.L.s as she expected.O.W.L.s were Ordinary Wizarding Levels, the examinations Hogwarts students took at the age of fifteen.And wherefore there was this big row, Ginny said, because Mum wants them to go into the Ministry of Magic like soda water, and they told her all they want to do is open a joke shop.Just indeed a door on the second landing opened, and a face poked out wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a very irritated expression.Hi, Percy, said Harry.Oh hello, Harry, said Percy. I was wondering who was reservation all the noise. Im assay to work in here, you know Ive got a field to finish for the locating and its rather difficult to concentrate when people go along thundering up and down the stairs.Were not thundering, said Ron irritably. Were walking. Sorry if weve disturbed the top-secret whole kit of the Ministry of Magic.What are you working on? said Harry. A report for the discussion section of International Magical Cooperation, said Percy smugly. Were trying to standardize caldron thickness. any(prenominal) of these foreign imports are just a shade too thin leakages have been increasing at a rate of almost lead percent a year -Thatll reassign the being, that report will, said Ron. antecedent page of the Daily Prophet, I expect, cauldron leaks.Percy went slightly pink.You might sneer, Ron, he said heatedly, but unless some sort of international law is obligate we might well produce the market flooded with flimsy, shallow-bottomed products that seriously threaten -Yeah, yeah, all right, said Ron, and he started off upstairs again. Percy slammed his bedroom door shut. As Harry, Hermione, and Ginny followed Ron up three more flights of stairs, shouts from the kitchen below echoed up to them. It sounded as though Mr. Weasley had told Mrs. Weasley more or less the toffees.The room at the top of the house where Ron slept looked much as it had the last time that Harry had come to stay the very(prenominal)(p) posters of Rons favorite Quidditch team, the Chudley Cannons, were whirling and waving on the walls and sloping ceiling, and the fish store on the windowsill, which had previously held frog s helping handn, now contained one extremely large frog. Rons old rat, Scabbers, was here no more, but instead there was the tiny gray owl that had delivered Rons letter to Harry in Privet Drive. It was hopping up and down in a small cage and twittering madly.Shut up, Pig, said Ron, go on his way between two of the four beds that had been squeezed into the room. Fred and George are in here with us, because Bill and Charlie are in their room, he told Harry. Percy gets to keep his room all to himself because hes got to work.Er why are you calling that owl Pig? Harry asked Ron.Because hes being lumpen, said Ginny, Its proper name is Pigwidgeon.Yeah, and thats not a stupid name at all, said Ron sarcastically. Ginny named him, he explained to Harry. She reckons its sweet. And I tried to change it, but it was too late, he wont answer to anything else. So now hes Pig. Ive got to keep him up here because he annoys Errol and Hermes. He annoys me too, come to that.Pigwidgeon zoomed happily around his cage, hooting shrilly. Harry knew Ron too well to take him seriously. He had moaned continually about his old rat, Scabbers, but had been most upset when Hermiones cat, Crookshanks, appeared to have eaten him.Wheres Crookshanks? Harry asked Hermione now. start in the garden, I expect, she said. He likes chasing gnomes. Hes never seen any before.Percys enjoying work, then? said Harry, sitting down on one of the beds and watching the Chudley Cannons zooming in and out of the posters on the ceiling.Enjoying it? said Ron darkly. I dont reckon hed come home(a) if Dad didnt make him. Hes obsessed. Just dont get him onto the subject of his boss. According to Mr. crouchas I was verbalism to Mr. Crouch Mr. Cr ouch is of the opinionMr. Crouch was singing meTheyll be announcing their engagement any day now.Have you had a sizableish summer, Harry? said Hermione. Did you get our food parcels and everything?Yeah, thanks a lot, said Harry. They saved my life, those cakes.And have you heard from -? Ron began, but at a look from Hermione he fell silent. Harry knew Ron had been about to ask about Sirius. Ron and Hermione had been so deeply involved in helping Sirius escape from the Ministry of Magic that they were almost as concerned about Harrys godfather as he was. However, discussing him in front of Ginny was a bad idea. Nobody but themselves and Professor Dumbledore knew about how Sirius had escaped, or believed in his innocence.I think theyve stopped arguing, said Hermione, to c everywhere the awkward moment, because Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry. Shall we go down and help your mum with dinner?Yeah, all right, said Ron. The four of them left Rons room and went back down stair to find Mrs. Weasley alone in the kitchen, looking extremely bad-tempered.Were eating out in the garden, she said when they came in. Theres just not room for eleven people in here. Could you take the plates outside, girls? Bill and Charlie are setting up the delays. Knives and forks, please, you two, she said to Ron and Harry, pointing her billystick a little more vigorously than she had intended at a pile of spudes in the go along, which shot out of their skins so fast that they ricocheted off the walls and ceiling.Oh for heavens sake, she snapped, now directing her billy at a dustpan, which hopped off the sideboard and started skating crosswise the floor, scooping up the potatoes. Those two she burst out savagely, now pulling pots and pans out of a cupboard, and Harry knew she meant Fred and George. I dont know whats going to happen to them, I really dont. No ambition, unless you count making as much stretch out as they possibly can.Mrs. Weasley slammed a large copper saucepan down on the kitchen table and began to wave her wand around inside it. A creamy sauce poured from the wand malarkey as she stirred.Its not as though they havent got brains, she continued irritably, taking the saucepan over to the stove and lighting it with a further poke of her wand, but theyre waste them, and unless they pull themselves together soon, theyll be in real trouble. Ive had more owls from Hogwarts about them than the rest put together. If they carry on the way theyre going, theyll end up in front of the Improper Use of Magic Office.Mrs. Weasley jabbed her wand at the cutlery drawer, which shot open. Harry and Ron both jumped out of the way as several knives soared out of it, flew across the kitchen, and began chopping the potatoes, which had just been tipped back into the sink by the dustpan.I dont know where we went wrong with them, said Mrs. Weasley, putting down her wand and starting to pull out still more saucepans. Its been the same for years, one thing by and by another, and they wont listen to OH NOT AGAINShe had picked up her wand from the table, and it had emitted a loud squeak and turned into a demon rubber mouse.One of their fake wands again she shouted. How many times have I told them not to leave them lying around?She grabbed her real wand and turned around to find that the sauce on the stove was smoking.Cmon, Ron said hurriedly to Harry, seizing a handful of cutlery from the open drawer, lets go and help Bill and Charlie.They left Mrs. Weasley and headed out the back door into the yard.They had unaccompanied gone a few paces when Hermiones bandy-legged ginger cat, Crookshanks, came pelting out of the garden, bottle-brush tail held advanced in the air, chasing what looked like a muddy potato on legs. Harry recognized it instantly as a gnome. still ten inches high, its horny little feet pattered very fast as it sprinted across the yard and dived headlong into one of the Wellington boots that lay scattered around the do or. Harry could hear the gnome giggling madly as Crookshanks inserted a paw into the boot, trying to reach it. Meanwhile, a very loud crashing noise was orgasm from the other side of the house. The source of the commotion was revealed as they entered the garden, and saw that Bill and Charlie both had their wands out, and were making two battered old tables fly high above the lawn, smashing into each other, each attempting to knock the others out of the air. Fred and George were cheering, Ginny was laughing, and Hermione was hovering near the hedge, apparently torn between amusement and anxiety.Bills table caught Charlies with a massive bang and knocked one of its legs off. There was a clatter from overhead, and they all looked up to see Percys head poking out of a window on the second floor.Will you keep it down? he bellowed.Sorry, Perce, said Bill, grinning. Howre the cauldron bottoms coming on?Very badly, said Percy peevishly, and he slammed the window shut. Chuckling, Bill and Charlie directed the tables safely onto the grass, end to end, and then, with a flick of his wand, Bill reattached the table leg and conjured tablecloths from nowhere.By seven oclock, the two tables were groaning under dishes and dishes of Mrs. Weasleys excellent cooking, and the gild Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione were settling themselves down to eat beneath a clear, deep-blue sky. To somebody who had been livelihood on meals of increasingly stale cake all summer, this was paradise, and at first, Harry listened rather than talked as he helped himself to chicken and ham pie, boiled potatoes, and salad.At the far end of the table, Percy was telling his father all about his report on cauldron bottoms.Ive told Mr. Crouch that Ill have it ready by Tuesday, Percy was saying pompously. Thats a bit sooner than he expected it, but I like to keep on top of things. I think hell be grateful Ive done it in good time, I mean, its extremely take in our department just now, what with all the arr angements for the World Cup. Were just not getting the support we need from the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Ludo Bagman -I like Ludo, said Mr. Weasley mildly. He was the one who got us such good tickets for the Cup. I did him a bit of a favor His brother, Otto, got into a spot of trouble a lawnmower with unnatural powers I smoothed the whole thing over.Oh Bagmans likable enough, of course, said Percy dismissively, but how he ever got to be brainpower of Departmentwhen I compare him to Mr. Crouch I cant see Mr. Crouch losing a member of our department and not trying to find out whats happened to them. You realize Bertha Jorkins has been missing for over a month now? Went on holiday to Albania and never came back?Yes, I was asking Ludo about that, said Mr. Weasley, frowning. He says Berthas gotten lost plenty of times before now though must say, if it was psyche in my department, Id be worried.Oh Berthas hopeless, all right, said Percy. I hear shes been shunted from d epartment to department for years, much more trouble than shes worthbut all the same, Bagman ought to be trying to find her. Mr. Crouch has been taking a personal interest, she worked in our department at one time, you know, and I think Mr. Crouch was quite fond of her but Bagman just keeps laughing and saying she probably misread the symbolise and ended up in Australia instead of Albania. However Percy heaved an impressive breathe and took a deep swig of elderflower wine weve got quite enough on our plates at the Department of International Magical Cooperation without trying to find members of other departments too. As you know, weve got another big event to organize right after the World Cup.Percy cleared his throat significantly and looked down toward the end of the table where Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting. You know the one Im talking about, Father. He raised his voice slightly. The top-secret one.Ron rolled his eyes and muttered to Harry and Hermione, Hes been tryi ng to get us to ask what that event is ever since he started work. Probably an exhibition of thick-bottomed cauldrons.In the position of the table, Mrs. Weasley was arguing with Bill about his earring, which seemed to be a recent acquisition.with a horrible great fang on it. Really, Bill, what do they say at the bank?Mum, no one at the bank gives a damn how I dress as long as I bring home plenty of treasure, said Bill patiently.And your hairs getting silly, dear, said Mrs. Weasley, fingering her wand lovingly. I wish youd let me give it a trim.I like it, said Ginny, who was sitting beside Bill. Youre so old-fashioned, Mum. Anyway, its nowhere near as long as Professor Dumbledores.Next to Mrs. Weasley, Fred, George, and Charlie were all talking spiritedly about the World Cup.Its got to be Ireland, said Charlie thickly, through a gustatory modality of potato. They flattened Peru in the semifinals.Bulgaria has got Viktor Krum, though, said Fred.Krums one decent player, Ireland has go t seven, said Charlie shortly. I wish England had got through. That was embarrassing, that was.What happened? said Harry eagerly, regretting more than ever his isolation from the wizarding world when he was stuck on Privet Drive.Went down to Transylvania, three hundred and ninety to ten, said Charlie gloomily. Shocking performance. And Wales lost to Uganda, and Scotland was slaughtered by Luxembourg.Harry had been on the Gryffindor House Quidditch team ever since his first year at Hogwarts and owned one of the shell racing brooms in the world, a Firebolt. Flying came more naturally to Harry than anything else in the magical world, and he played in the position of seeker on the Gryffindor House team.Mr. Weasley conjured up candles to light the darkening garden before they had their homemade strawberry ice cream, and by the time they had finished, moths were fluttering low over the table, and the warm air was perfumed with the smells of grass and honeysuckle. Harry was feeling extrem ely well fed and at peace with the world as he watched several gnomes sprinting through the rosebushes, laughing madly and closely prosecute by Crookshanks.Ron looked carefully up the table to check that the rest of the family were all busy talking, then he said very quietly to Harry, So have you heard from Sirius lately?Hermione looked around, listening closely.Yeah, said Harry softly, twice. He sounds okay. I wrote to him yesterday. He might write back while Im here.He suddenly remembered the reason he had written to Sirius, and for a moment was on the verge of telling Ron and Hermione about his scar hurting again, and about the ideate that had awoken himbut he really didnt want to worry them just now, not when he himself was feeling so happy and peaceful.Look at the time, Mrs. Weasley said suddenly, checking her wristwatch. You really should be in bed, the whole lot of you youll be up at the crack of dawn to get to the Cup. Harry, if you leave your school list out, Ill get you r things for you tomorrow in Diagon Alley. Im getting everyone elses. There might not be time after the World Cup, the match went on for quintuple days last time.Wow hope it does this time said Harry enthusiastically.Well, I certainly dont, said Percy sanctimoniously. I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce? said Fred.That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway said Percy, going very red in the face. It was nothing personalIt was, Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. We sent it.